In His Hands, Part 2

My last post was written in a feverish rush and I realize that some of my thoughts were left unfinished.

I haven't shown much improvement over the last couple days which has been a bit disheartening. But I know that I am still in His hands. I will see my surgeon possibly tomorrow for some blood work to make sure nothing more serious is going on. Then Wednesday I'll see them again to check my incisions.

Angie, I wanted to thank you for the words to the song you left for me. I was so touched how true and I thank you for that sweet reminder cause i so easily forget the promises of my God.

"It may not be the way I would have chosen,
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone.

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to"

I had started telling you about a few of the memories that stick out to me. So here they are. Friday after my first surgery I was in so much pain that even thought they gave me the highest doses of four different pain meds they weren't able to touch my pain. So my husband and my brother in law Jason sat for hours and let me squeeze they're hands to try to get rid of the pain. They read to me and told me stories to get my mind distracted. It was such a blessing. Julia my brother in laws girlfriend brought nail polish and painted my fingers and toes. And together her and Janelle would give me sponge baths and wash and braid my hair. They did that almost everyday. And like I said Annya was so well cared for. This was such a comfort to me because I think that was one of the hardest things was to be away from my girl. No pain like the pain of knowing she needed me yet I could do nothing she even got sick for the first time and I couldn't be there. It was hard but she too was in His hands!

There are so many people who I could thank so many little stories that I could tell but time won't permit. So I'd like to thank one last person...my husband. He has went through so much. He said at one point "i don't know if it's harder to go through it or to watch the one you love go through it". I know that he endured much on my behalf and I'm so grateful that I had his support through this time. I truly am such a blessed woman I often take my blessings for granted especially my husband. So from the bottom of my heart I thank you my darling, my love, for all that you have been to me and all that you've put up with. I know that I have been a really hard person to love lately. Thank you for loving me anyway. You are one in a billion!!!

I covet your prayers for my continued recovery, for my milk supply to return and for the finances we'll need to cover these operations. God bless you all sweet friends.